Slowjamastan has experienced rapid demographic growth since its inception
Of the couple of hundred nations on earth, there is now one more, a new nation known as Slowjamastan. The micronation, founded in California in 2021, is led by Sultan Williams, the founder and ‘eternal leader’ of Slowjamastan, and is experiencing swift growth. Sultan Williams, formerly a late-night DJ, claimed that Slowjamastan would be the ‘foremost micronation in the world’ in a matter of years.
The micronation, officially called ‘The United Territories of The Sovereign Nation of The People’s Republic of Slowjamastan’, began its history on December 1, 2021, at 12:26 PM, when founder, DJ, and Sultan Randy’ R Dub’ Williams declared independence from the United States in full state regalia. The secession was broadcast live from the government headquarters in the capital, Dublandia.
Williams was inspired to find his country after having visited every single country in the world. He ran out of countries to visit, so he created his own. He desires to satire the absurdities of politics, and he leads the ‘republic’ as a ‘Sultan’ to showcase the bizarre contradictions of places like North Korea.
Slowjamastan has experienced rapid demographic growth since its inception. Originally founded with a population of one, it now has more than 500 citizens, with a further 4,500 more part way through the process. This makes Slowjamastan the fastest-growing population on Earth.
The local economy of the micronation is also booming, with its main and only industry being tourism. Located a few hour’s drive from San Diego in California, the nation occupies a small patch of desert that Williams bought for $19,000. Above this, he has erected an enormous ‘Welcome to Slowjamastan’ sign, a border control post, and a ministerial office. Dozens of tourists have visited Slowjamastan to take selfies, visit Independence Square, where sovereignty was declared, and hunt for the rare ‘Slowjamastan Raccoon’, the national animal of Slowjamastan.
Other aspects of Williams’ domestic policy include instituting the national currency, the ‘duble’, as well as a national anthem – “Slowjamastan (I Think It’s Gonna Be an Awesome Place)”, written by the founder himself. The country also has its own passport and national symbols. One major law is the prohibition against wearing Crocs, which is punishable by seizure and deportation. An aggressive and committed ‘Porder Batrol’ has been hard at work seizing contraband, already confiscating 427 Crocs.
Slowjamastan has even engaged in foreign relations. In 2021, Williams visited another micronation, The Republic of Molossia, and now says he is working towards international recognition. On a recent trip, he had his Slowjamastan passport stamped by 16 different countries, including South Africa, the United States, New Zealand, and Vanuatu. However, Slowjamastan will have a regulated immigration policy, with a border fence already constructed.
Though the nation claims that it meets all criteria for sovereign nation-statehood, under the 1993 Montevideo Convention, it is still a far shot whether his country will be recognised by the United States. The micronation is entirely enclosed by United States territory, and Williams claims he has reached out to Joe Biden for negotiations.
“I’m a little frustrated to admit that, despite emails and DMs to President Biden on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and MySpace, our messages have all been left unread,” Williams stated, “Perhaps they are stuck in his spam folder. We’re going with that.” Though there are a bunch of other declared micronations in US territory, they have never been recognised. One partial exception is the Native American nations, which are given partial sovereignty within the US system.
Williams also has clear ideas of what the future of the nation should be. His next grand plan is to raise enough funds to build “a lazy river, an armadillo farm, an all-you-can-eat Mongolian BBQ establishment and, of course, a giant statue/monument of The Great Leader (me).” He desires Slowjamastan to be a place of ‘freedom, honour and respect’ and envisions it as a powerful leader on the world stage.
